Chinese-Aussie Mum

Mother’s Day is this Sunday (for those in some countries, including Australia and Hong Kong!)

I don’t quite know how I feel about the day.

Similar to Valentine’s Day, it’s become a bit of a commercial endeavour. It can also be a tough time and topic for many (so, please feel free to skip this post if it’s not for you). 

On the one hand, I love being acknowledged. 

Being a Mother can be a tough gig, even if it is a gig of choice.

I love getting the little hand-written notes and cards made by my children at school / kindergarten. It also gives me some insight into the ways I can spend time with my children in the way that they value the most. 

Eg. My daughter wrote one year that the thing she loves doing most with me is playing lego friends together. (To me that reads quality time and being silly!) I love knowing things like this so I can focus our time together on these moments. 

On the other hand, it’s a day where 1) Mums end up doing most of the ‘caring’ and ‘work’ for the day and 2) expectations can fall hard.

Educators, teachers and other Mums are generally the ones planning the gifts, the handmade presents, the Mother’s Day stalls in the lead up to the day. 

We are probably also the ones making plans to celebrate our own Mothers and Mother figures. It’s not lost on me that the majority of the “work” for the day once again falls on Mothers, which can be extremely tiring. 

I also remember one particular Mother’s Day when I was a relatively new Mum, where there was no ‘plan’. No food, no outings, no idea what we were going to do … and I felt so annoyed at having to organise everyone on the day (while being very hungry). My partner certainly heard about this in not so subtle a manner.

Since then, he always makes some sort of a plan for Mother’s Day.

On my part, I have learnt to ask. 

I check in on what’s happening for the day (no surprise is better than a bad surprise). 

I tell him exactly how I want to spend the day (usually it’s the gift of time freedom and no need to plan meals). 

Chocolates, flowers and breakfast in bed are great, but only if someone else is doing the planning and the cleanup! 

And it’s not too late to ask. 

It doesn’t have to be a fancy booking somewhere (which may be expensive and booked out weeks in advance). 

It can just be asking for time freedom and getting takeout. 

Whatever looks and feels right for you. 

Solo parenting is especially hard on this day, and if that’s you, I encourage you to look after yourself and have a plan for how you can make the day as easy as possible. 

Wishing you a wonderful Mother’s Day in whatever way you choose to spend it.